BurlyCon 2011

ITS HERE!!! Its the event I await every year as fervently as I used to await my birthday or christmas.

One entire weekend away from boyfriend, baby and house...Yes I will miss my darlings but I am really looking forward to learning, laughing and teaching surrounded by so much talent and experience.

This morning Paul laughed and said that BurlyCon was my hogworts...and I drooled over the idea.

Tassels, yoga pants, rhinestones, and living legends.

The folks who work countless hours to create this event are fabulous.

Last year was the only year I had missed and I have to say I was devastated. Huge, tired of being pregnant and extremely sad I spent most of the weekend crying. Over dramatic? No, not really.

This year as Paul promised I get to go, be in the hotel and steep in the gloriousness that will ensue.

I am teaching a victorian ribbon work class on friday, part of a panel about...Being a burlesque parent on sat. I am thrilled and cannot think of a better way to celebrate!

BurlyCon is a convention by burlesque performers, for burlesque performers.
To check it out:

www.burlycon.org

The most amazing realization

I havent been able to write in awhile, I get inspiration and I open this page...and the doubt comes in. Is this relevant, should I bother writing it. Its a horrible feeling.

My son is turning one in less than a month. Everyday its been hitting me in new ways,from seeing him sitting up and playing by himself...looking more and more like a little boy instead of a baby.

How did this happen for the first four months it was a slow gradual change...or at least I had convinced myself it was, looking back I realize it was like riding a light rail, too fast and smooth to realize.

I've had to put alot of things on the back burner. Which is normal with a 1st baby, or even a new baby. The time I do spend away I want to count for something. I am focusing more on becoming a better performer, pushing myself in costumes, performing, producing.

When I slow down and just look at my son, I've been getting hit with how much I love him. I feel like I need to write a post just about the things I never understood until becoming a parent.

I look at my son and I know he is my number 1. I love him in ways I never expected...even when my entire day is derailed or the dress I WAS going to wear out to see a show gets spit up on.

*As a side note my son now ONLY spits up when I am dressed and ready to go and watch someone elses show.

Its an overwhelming realization. This love that hits you like wind rushing off a canyon floor...it is romantic, like Victorian valentines day cards, or your first true returned love. Yet its steeped with the responsibility of being a parent. Its the strangest feeling to be soo grounded while so at times giddy.

My mom tried to talk to me about this when I was a kid, I remember never understanding. I never felt so mortal until I had Finni. I never wanted to achieve as much as I do now. In my life everything I do I do for my son. It isnt so one day he can feel pride for having me as a mom. I can't really explain it, but just having him in my life makes me want to reach higher, perform better, and be able to be truly proud of my accomplishments.