Finnegan has entered his Separation anxiety phase and its driving me batty.
I cant put him down anywhere, ever. He cries if daddy holds him, he cries if he is on his boppy and can still see me. I cant cook, visit the restroom, take a bath, CLEAN, costume, work on choreography. Nothing.
I am hoping he is exiting the phase early. Today I put him down three times and each time he has given me 5-10 minutes of arms/torso free time. I have had a cup of tea and texted friends. I plan on cleaning the living room and hopefully getting some art in later.
The last few days have been hard. I want to clean, paint, sew, paint, clean, make jewelry, CLEAN, and I cant with him in my arms. He has been full of energy, but wont play with his toys unless he is in my lap. He is TOO full of energy to be in my lap but keeps trying anyways.
I am hoping this is passing, hoping that I can avoid having him cry it out to get anything done. I've been told to just let him sit where he can see me and cry while I get work done. Told that this will teach him how NOT to manipulate me.........that is unconscious but if I dont he'll be a terror.
I've been afraid to ask other mamas. I want to avoid cry it out, but also need torso and arm time. I'd like to go to the bathroom without my son squirming in my arms or crying from another room. I'd like his papa to be able to hold him without him looking over at me sobbing holding his arms up. I'd like just a few moments free.
Taking a step back from frustration has been a daily chore. Sometimes its all I can do.
You see I love my son, I love cuddling with him. I love waking up next to him as he is talking and giggling every morning. I adore watching him feed himself into a coma in my arms. Or discover new things. He giggles and talks and gives me this look like we are sharing a private joke just between the two of us. He has an expression that seems to say "I'm so happy I could explode". I cherish all of these things. BUT I also need a break.
Burlesque has been my escape. Its my one time to get out of the house and pretty up and NOT deal with a baby for a few hours. I stage manage the pink door, produce my own monthly show AND perform around Seattle as I can. I allow myself one drink while out, I wear as many flowers as I can cram into my hair and I relish how pin-up my body looks while I'm dressed up. Even still I text Paul near constantly looking for updates and I find myself missing anf talking about my son everytime!
Just because you don't want to be attached 24-7 to him, doesn't mean you don't love him. So whatever guilt you're feeling over that, don't. I've also never been a big fan of letting them cry it out before a year. I don't think it's healthy for either of you. I remember with my kiddos, I got a sling so I could hold them and keep my hands free. It doesn't work for everything, but if definitely cuts down on some of it. It's insanely important as a mama to have time to be yourself and not just mom, so make sure you are taking that time. ;)
ReplyDeleteGeez that felt like a mini novel. Sorry.
Thanks for the heads up! I'll enjoy having my arms and torso to my self a little more before Soren gets to the separation anxiety stage. I just started using the Ergo this week. I used the Bjorn and sling before. I was able to get so much more done with him in that than in the others. He fussed at first and I had to walk around outside to calm him down, but once he was calm, I was able to sweep, vacuum and fold laundry with him in there.
ReplyDeleteYes, the ergo is great! But I cant lean over in it to pick up my house. Nor can I work on art with him in a sling. I wear Finni all the time, but this separation anxiety is just terrible. Not all babies deal with it Audrey so my fingers are crossed that you and Soren will be spared!
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